I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
