we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
