Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
