Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
