Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
