I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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