No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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