Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
