Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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