Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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