i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize