You smell like stripper and shame
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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