I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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