I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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