Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize