no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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