do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
