I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
