you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
