He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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