My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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