went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
