nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i was born a porn star she said
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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