You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
