both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
