The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
