pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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