I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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