I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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