I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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