so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
