Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
