dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
