pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
