Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
