your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
