Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
How external is "for external use only"?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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