What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
