So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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