I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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