I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
