Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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