The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just had sex on a roof
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
