Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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