i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
meet me or not, i'm out of control
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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