He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
