This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We left an ass print on the piano.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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