3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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