We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
