how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
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He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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