My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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