I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
