please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
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