Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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